I had just finished my contract as a logistics coordinator in a large tsunami reconstruction program on a small island in Indonesia.
I decided to stay on the island, ostensibly to gather fresh energy but perhaps more truthfully to delay the inevitable plunge back into the job market—a market that felt less like an ocean of opportunity and more like a desolate, wind-swept plain of rejection.
Solitude Turns to Anxiety
In those early days, I relished the solitude, the quietude of the beach. But soon enough, the tranquility gave way to a gnawing anxiety, a sense of creeping dread.
Each day without a job offer was a day closer to confirming my worst fears: that my previous success was a fluke, that I was an imposter. Nights became sleepless marathons of scrolling through job listings, my mind a tumult of self-doubt and uncertainty.
Despite my substantial experience in managing large-scale logistics, coordinating teams, and navigating the chaos of disaster zones, the job market was silent.
To cope with the unreliable internet, I made daily pilgrimages to the UNOCHA compound, where former colleagues would graciously let me use their more stable connection.
There, under the hum of fluorescent lights and the indifferent whir of ceiling fans, I combed through Reliefweb, applying for anything and everything that seemed even remotely attainable.
Yet, each application felt like shouting into the void. Nothing came back.
The Breaking Point
The nights grew longer, the days heavier. My spreadsheet of applications, initially a source of methodical comfort, now read like a ledger of futility.
I found myself questioning my worth, my abilities, my very identity. Was I simply deluding myself about my competence? The weight of countless rejections bore down on me, each one a blow to my already fragile sense of self.
I applied for intern positions out of sheer desperation. But then, in a moment of exhausted clarity, I realized that this scattergun approach wasn’t just ineffective—it was dismantling my confidence piece by piece.
I had to stop.
I had to think.
I had to figure out who I was beyond my last job title and what I genuinely wanted to do.
Finding New Focus For Your Humanitarian Aid Job Search
In the stillness of that realization, I found a different kind of clarity.
I acknowledged my skills—not just in logistics, but in leading large teams, managing complex projects, adapting swiftly to new challenges, and my enduring desire to work in Africa.
This introspection wasn’t easy. It demanded facing my fears and insecurities head-on. But it also allowed me to refocus.
Steps to Rediscover Your Strengths
The clarity I sought wasn’t some divine epiphany delivered in a moment of quiet contemplation, but rather a deliberate and structured approach to self-reflection.
First, I listed all my professional achievements and the skills I had developed in each role. This exercise helped me see the full scope of my capabilities and experience.
Next, I thought about the kinds of jobs that genuinely excited me, not just those that seemed like a logical next step. I talked to trusted colleagues and mentors, asking for their honest feedback about my strengths and areas where I could improve. Their insights were invaluable.
Finally, I set clear, realistic career goals and focused my job search on roles that aligned with these goals.
This methodical approach transformed my job search from a chaotic scramble into a purposeful journey.
I stopped applying for every available job and started targeting positions that truly resonated with my skills and aspirations.
The volume of my applications decreased, but their quality improved.
This newfound focus led me to my next role as Base Manager in South Sudan, a position that aligned perfectly with my abilities and ambitions.
How that opportunity turned out is a whole other story. I might tell you about it another time, because I learned something valuable there about staying true to your values.
But for now, I want to urge you to get out of that hamster wheel of job application frenzy.
Your Turn to Reflect
To my fellow wanderers in the humanitarian aid sector, battling the humanitarian aid job search blues, I urge you to take a step back.
Reflect deeply on your journey, your strengths, and what you truly seek in your next role. Embrace the discomfort of self-reflection and use it to guide your search with intention and clarity.
By doing so, you’ll not only navigate these challenging waters with resilience but also find a path that truly aligns with your unique value and aspirations.
If you need support or someone to talk to about your career challenges, feel free to reach out to me. I’m here to help and share any insights that might aid you on your journey.
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