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Applying for Jobs: The Only Thing Worse Than Dating Apps


Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

Applying for a job is like voluntarily diving into a Kafkaesque funhouse, where every mirror distorts reality just enough to make you question who you really are.


It’s a dance of dualities, where the applicant juggles hope and dread with a dash of performative authenticity.


Here’s the kicker: these ambivalences are not just annoying glitches in the matrix; they are the essence of the experience. Let’s break it down:

  1. Desire for Change vs. Fear of the Unknown

  2. Authenticity vs. Adaptation

  3. Honesty vs. Strategic Presentation

  4. Self-Perception vs. Employer Perception

  5. Hope for Success vs. Fear of Rejection

Applying for Jobs - Navigating the Labyrinth of Ambivalence

These ambivalences are the secret sauce of the job application process, intertwining to create a complex emotional and psychological landscape. Each ambivalence presents its own unique set of challenges, forcing applicants to constantly adjust their strategies and self-perceptions.


Finding a balance between these opposing forces is not just desirable but essential. Navigating this balance can transform the job application process from a source of anxiety into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By understanding and embracing these ambivalences, applicants can better prepare themselves for the inevitable rollercoaster of emotions and decisions that accompany their job search journey.

II. Desire for Change vs. Fear of the Unknown


The very act of applying for a new job is fraught with a peculiar contradiction: the desire for change versus the comfort of the known. Here you are, dissatisfied with your current situation, yet profoundly anxious about what might replace it.*

On one hand:

  • Curiosity and Excitement: A new job represents the promise of novelty and the potential for transformation. Think of it as the narrative shift in your life story, the moment when the protagonist (you) embarks on a new adventure.

  • Potential for Growth: This is the professional equivalent of self-actualization. A new job means new skills, new responsibilities, and the seductive possibility of advancement.

On the other hand:

  • Uncertainty and Risk: What if the new job isn't better? What if it's worse? What if it’s filled with colleagues who remind you of Kafkaesque characters, each more surreal and challenging than the last?

  • Loss of Comfort: The current job, despite its flaws, is a known entity. It’s like an old, uncomfortable chair that has molded to fit your discomfort perfectly.

III. Authenticity vs. Adaptation

Another layer of ambivalence involves the tightrope walk between authenticity and adaptation. You want to present yourself honestly, yet you need to mold your presentation to fit the job’s expectations.


On one hand:

  • Self-Actualization: The dream is to find a job that aligns with your values and skills perfectly—a harmonious blend of your professional and personal identity.

  • Authenticity: Being true to yourself in your application process feels like a moral imperative. You imagine the ideal job will appreciate you for who you are, quirks and all.

On the other hand:

  • Adaptation: To catch the employer’s eye, you might need to adjust your presentation. This involves strategic self-editing, highlighting certain skills while downplaying others.

  • Compromise: Rarely does a job align perfectly with your ideals. Accepting a position often involves compromise, settling for "good enough" rather than "perfect."

IV. Honesty vs. Strategic Presentation

Then there's the tension between honesty and the necessity of a strategic presentation. This isn't about lying, per se, but about curating the truth to present yourself in the best possible light.


On one hand:

  • Honesty: Ideally, honesty should build trust. You want to present your skills, experiences, and intentions clearly and truthfully.

  • Transparency: Employers, in theory, appreciate candor. They want to know your strengths and weaknesses so they can gauge fit accurately.

On the other hand:

  • Strategy: Highlighting strengths and downplaying weaknesses isn't dishonest; it's strategic. Think of it as truth filtered through the lens of efficacy.*

  • Self-Marketing: You need to sell yourself, sometimes literally. This involves a kind of performative aspect where you emphasize your most marketable traits.


V. Self-Perception vs. Employer Perception


A further ambivalence exists between how you see yourself and how potential employers see you. These perceptions are often wildly divergent.*


On one hand:

  • Self-Perception: You have a clear idea of your abilities, experiences, and aspirations. This self-narrative is coherent and makes sense to you.

  • Confidence: Confidence in your abilities is essential. Without it, you’re unlikely to convince anyone else of your worth.

On the other hand:

  • External Perception: Employers bring their own biases and expectations to the table. How they perceive you might clash dramatically with your self-image.*

  • Adjustment: Navigating this discrepancy often requires you to adjust your self-presentation, aligning it more closely with employer expectations.

VI. Hope for Success vs. Fear of Rejection

Finally, there’s the dichotomy of pursuing success while simultaneously fearing rejection. Each application is a gamble, with potential rewards and risks.

On one hand:

  • Success: Securing a job is a form of validation. It confirms your abilities and justifies your effort. This is the hero’s reward after a journey fraught with trials.

  • Motivation: The desire for success fuels your efforts, driving you to perfect your resume and sharpen your interview skills.

On the other hand:

  • Rejection: Every rejection letter feels like a small death, a negation of your worth. It can shake your confidence and sow seeds of doubt.

  • Emotional Stress: The rollercoaster of hope and disappointment is emotionally taxing. The constant scrutiny and judgment can wear down even the most resilient soul.

VII. Embracing Ambivalence


Acknowledging these ambivalences is crucial. They are the undercurrents shaping the entire job application process, influencing your thoughts, emotions, and actions.


As an applicant, you navigate a maze of conflicting feelings and strategic decisions.

Embracing the chaos and contradictions can transform the process into a profound journey of self-discovery and growth.


The ambivalences are complex and often unspoken, but by recognizing and dealing with them, you can use the application process as an opportunity for personal and professional development, ultimately bringing you closer to your goals and dreams.





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